Sometimes creativity feels like a struggle; a mundane mess that doesn’t make much sense to accomplish. There are ideas floating through my head so quickly, but I cannot seem to catch up to them to allow any semblance of a release. The thoughts come, the ideas flow freely, but the pressure behind them feels immense. I have so much to share – but why?

I will often question myself – “What is the purpose of spending my time on this task?” But really I should be asking, “What is the purpose of questioning myself in the first place?” There is not a purpose to either – except the purpose that I have chosen to put on it.

When I follow my thoughts, my ideas, my creativity - freely, without question, I am allowing myself to experience the most true parts of my life, passions, and personality. I am free. I am able to create beautiful things.

But I don’t allow myself to live that way.

That was not what I learned how to do.

I learned how to think like others; how to think about what other people think about me, and what other people might want in the moment. I learned the most outrageous things.

I learned to question everything around me as an inauthentic use of my time.

I learned that reading was not a good use of my time. (Uhm?...)

I learned that my physical appearance mattered. (WHY?)

I learned that I needed to shower, wash my hair, and style it every day.  (You Don’t!!!)

I learned how to procrastinate, how to do the bare minimum to barely look like I was achieving things that mattered to people whom are irrelevant to my life, while sneaking in moments to complete the things I actually enjoyed.

If I could just turn off everything I have “learned”, I know I could accomplish so much.

So this is me – working towards it – turning things off – and just doing. I am going to create something beautiful today.

….I hope you love my unnecessary punctuation. :)